If you are a follower of Jesus, living transparently is hard. Being open and honest about who you are means you must be vulnerable, and being vulnerable - is frightening. If you aren't vulnerable, you are not transparent.
If people in the church have hurt you, the very idea of being vulnerable once again is absurd. You were vulnerable once, and you were hurt, rejected, and discarded like trash.
I know from experience that sometimes, when followers of Jesus are vulnerable with others and experience rejection and betrayal, it hurts.
When we are vulnerable with other followers of Jesus, it means giving people power with areas of our lives kept confidential for a reason.
And if you consider yourself an "alpha" personality type, vulnerability is even more difficult.
Followers of Jesus who are alphas are confident, assertive, competitive, dominant, and, for the most part, resilient. We are the ones who lead conversations, make decisions, and influence people around us.
Alphas want to practice transparent living but often don't—not really. We mouth the right words, but at the end of the day, nobody really knows us.
Sometimes, I think, "I can't live transparently because people expect me to have all the answers and be close to perfect."
I can't be vulnerable because my family looks to me for protection and provision.
I can't be vulnerable because my coworkers turn to me for advice and solutions.
I can't be vulnerable because people in my life group or church consider me a role model.
Does any of this sound familiar?
If you're nodding your head right now, feeling like this is your story, then know that you're not alone. Keep reading, my friend!
Lions, Rhinos, and Bears. Oh my!
In the animal kingdom, every small pack of species needs an alpha. With an alpha, the pack can stay strong. The pack looks to the alpha to lead the group, maintain peace, troubleshoot, and keep the pack thriving.
We might think it's counterintuitive for an alpha in a group to be vulnerable. If an alpha displays vulnerability to the pack, the pack may turn on him, reject him, and seek another leader. Right?
But, in the wild kingdom of claws, gnashing teeth, flexing muscles, and screaming (Does that sound like the last business meeting of your church?) an alpha must demonstrate vulnerability to keep the pack strong!
The way some of these fierce animals demonstrate vulnerability to one another can be quite amusing.
Gorillas may perform somersaults, make faces, stick out their tongues, or pick nits.
Lions confidently roll over and show their belly. (Can it get more vulnerable than that?)
Bears suddenly become fascinated by something on the ground, or with their paws.
Monkeys cover their eyes, turn their backs, and stick their behinds in the air.
Elephants flap their ears and bob and sway.
Eagles simply fly away.
Rhinos let out a whimper.
These gestures might seem amusing or trivial, but they play a crucial role in the dynamics of leadership and social structure among animals. Each act, whether a lion's submissive belly display or a monkey's playful antics, serves a deeper purpose.
Here are six benefits of alpha vulnerability in the wild:
Social Bonds Deepen: Alpha animals can enhance trust and loyalty among group members by showing vulnerability. Vulnerability makes them appear more relatable and fair, leading to increased group support (Nature).
Maintaining Group Harmony: Alpha animals that show vulnerability reduce resentment and tension within the group. Vulnerability promotes cooperative behaviors and helps reduce internal conflict, which contributes to the group's stability and success (Psychology Today).
Leadership Development: Vulnerability in alphas can encourage other group members to step up and foster the development of future leaders to ensure group resilience. Vulnerability also stimulates empathy and support from others, which is beneficial in times of stress or when the alpha is less capable due to injury or aging (encyclopedia).
Conflict Management: Showing vulnerability can help de-escalate potential conflicts within the group. This may even involve an alpha submitting in minor disputes to maintain peace, thus preserving their strength for more significant challenges (Moments Log).
Modeling Behavior: Alphas who demonstrate vulnerability effectively can teach younger or lower-ranking members about resilience and coping mechanisms. This modeling is crucial in environments where understanding social cues and appropriate responses are essential for survival (AnimalBehaviorCorner).
Ensuring Long-term Leadership: By displaying vulnerability, alphas manage their energy and health more effectively, contributing to a longer, more sustainable leadership tenure. Recognizing their limits helps prevent overexertion and reduces the likelihood of premature challenges to their leadership (encyclopedia).
Isn't it incredible? When an alpha shows vulnerability, the pack experiences resilience, strength, peace, harmony, cooperation, and sustained leadership. The leader is not weakened, but rather, strengthened and supported. This is the power of vulnerability.
That will preach.
So, in the context of your family, your church, and your pack, can you imagine what could happen if you exposed your belly and practiced vulnerability with those you lead?
Vulnerability is not a foreign concept to us as followers of Jesus. It is a trait that we see repeatedly in Jesus' life as he ministered on earth. Even before he began his ministry, Jesus demonstrated vulnerability by giving up his rights to reign and rule over the world, choosing instead to become vulnerable to his creation (Phil 2:5-8). This is our model.
So, learning from the animal kingdom and modeling the vulnerability found in scripture, I created a list of six reasons why Christian Leaders strengthen their churches and teams when they model appropriate vulnerability.
Here are six ways vulnerability in leadership strengthens the church:
Relationships are Strengthened: Just as alpha animals build trust and loyalty by showing vulnerability, a Christian leader who is open about their struggles can foster a deeper sense of community among believers. This openness strengthens relationships and makes the leader more approachable, encouraging others to share their experiences and support each other. (Gal. 6:2)
Harmony, Unity, and Peace: When leaders in a church are vulnerable, it will reduce feelings of resentment or envy that might arise from perceived perfection. By admitting specific faults and challenges, leaders set a tone of humility and cooperation, which will help maintain harmony, unity, and peace within the congregation. (Eph. 4:2-3)
Encouraging Leadership Growth: Showing vulnerability allows other followers of Jesus to step up and take on leadership roles. They grow confident, realizing they don't need to be perfect to do so. This nurtures potential leaders, showing them that leadership involves mutual support and learning from one another, not just directing others. (2 Tim. 2:2)
Managing Conflicts Effectively: Vulnerable leaders most effectively manage conflicts by demonstrating that it's okay to yield in disagreements when appropriate. This approach can prevent minor disagreements from escalating into more significant conflicts and preserves the strength and unity of the church so that it remains focused on its mission. (Matt. 5:9)
Modeling Resilient Behavior: Leaders who practice appropriate vulnerability teach others how to deal with difficulties and setbacks. Followers of Jesus need to learn to respond to life's challenges in a Christ-like manner, personally and communally. (James 1:2-4)
Sustaining Effective Leadership: By acknowledging their limitations, leaders will manage their responsibilities without overextending themselves, which helps maintain their well-being and ensures they can continue leading effectively for a longer time. (2 Cor. 12:9-10)
So, what does this mean for us in our daily lives and ministries? It means you are tougher, stronger, and a self-aware, emotionally healthy leader when you dare to go belly up and lead with vulnerability.
I invite you to reflect on your own experiences. When has being vulnerable made a positive impact in your personal life, your family, or your ministry? Have there been times when it felt particularly challenging? What can you do today to demonstrate vulnerability with your pack?
Share your stories in the comments below or on social media...and let somebody pick those nits out of your hair!
Have a great day!
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